Capitalizing on Credibility - What's the Biggest Payoff? August 2010

The Myth of Client-Focus July 2010

Marketing Therapy - Just lie back and relax... June 2010

The Producer's Guide to Asking Questions May 2010

Questions - The Shortest Path from Prospect to Client April 2010

How to Build Your Credibility March 2010

Credibility's Impact on YOUR Bottom Line February 2010

How to Use Social Media in Your Business December 2009

Psychological Analysis of Your Marketing September 2009

How Contrarian Logic Makes Sales for You August 2009

Words that Sell - How to Use Psychology in Your Marketing and Selling July 2009

The Secrets of Marketing Psychology (Part I) June 2009

You've been replaced by a cartoon! May 2009

8 Ways to Distinguish Yourself in a Challenging Market (Part II) April 2009

8 Ways to Distinguish Yourself in a Challenging Market (Part I) March 2009

The Worst Mistake in Selling Financial Services January 2009

Fighting for Success! The “Special Forces” Approach December 2008

Yours - Free! November 2008

First-Impressions of Credibility - Part One October 2008

12 Ways to Screw Up Meetings -- And How to Fix Them September 2008

Article Index

Question: Michael, I don't care about all that psychology stuff. I don't want to change how I naturally communicate. I just want to set more appointments. How can I do that?

Lovas: You can't. With a rigid "internal frame of reference" like that, you won't even connect with people who are exactly like you. Rigidity like that is one of the most dysfunctional business behaviors. Unless people are begging you to help them, the only way to set more appointments is to connect with more people in your audience. That requires you to be flexible and to pay attention to other people. Luckily for you, there are some simple steps to get started right now.

Remember the TV show "Wagon Train"? At the first sight of Indians, the wagon train would form a circle to protect itself from attack. Why is that important to you? That's exactly what your audience is doing. Your prospects and seminar audience members are little wagon trains in little circles. They're in self-protection mode, and your job is to get through and let them know that you represent the friendly Indians. Getting through to your audience...getting through to your audience's psychology...getting past their metal filters, that's how you set more appointments. And, that's what this article is all about.

What I'm about to explain to you is a three-step process to become more flexible when you communicate with people. This body of knowledge comes from two sources: 1) The fascinating research in linguistics published in 1957 by Noam Chompsky in his PhD dissertation at MIT. It was titled Transformational Grammar. 2) The research conducted at IBM by my dear friend Rodger Bailey. Rodger was the first person to take linguistics and turn it into a practical application, a way to figure out how people think, how they filter information, and how they can be motivated. The body of knowledge that I write about and teach comes mainly from Rodger's work.

True and appropriate. Picture this. Every mind has three layers of resistance to your presentation. They are: deletion, distortion and generalization. So, every time you make a suggestion or comment, it bumps into one, two or all three layers (let's call them "filters"). Those filters try to make sense of your comment. Those filters work to make your comment fit within the world you already trust as true and appropriate.

Example: Deletion. Let's say I believe that blue chip stocks bring the biggest value to my portfolio. In your seminar, you tell me that silver speculation is better. What happens in my mind? The buzzer goes off; the red flag goes up; and, your content is promptly filtered out. It is deleted.

Example: Distortion. Let's say that your advice to me is to buy a Universal Life policy. I begin to create a mental picture of my family sitting around the pool. We begin wading through a twenty-five page UL illustration, and trying to understand it. I see my dog, Woody, grab a mouthful of pages and play "keep away" with an agent in a seersucker suit. I see my wife catch the remaining pages on fire and dance out to the street like a whirling dervish. I'm distorting reality. What did you say?

Example: Generalization. Let's continue with that example. You tell me that a UL policy is better than blue chip stocks. I already know about term life because I just bought one. So, I automatically generalize the UL policy to being similar to the term policy. This is how you can go from specific knowledge to a universal application. It's how you know what to do in any cafeteria in the free world, or how to use a pay phone. It's how you know how to use the shower in any hotel (except the ones in the UK).

In your seminar. When you talk to your audience, those people are actively filtering everything you say. Isn't that a frightening thought? It's especially frightening if you're inflexible and cling to an internal frame of reference. Since all people actively filter everything you say, it means that (at its best) the content you're working so hard to perfect is ineffective. Your content is being shot full of holes as soon as the words pass your lips. Here's the logic: the more holes your content contains, the less effective your message can be. Obviously, when your message is less effective, fewer people make appointments. It is that simple. Want to learn what to do about it?

What is the solution? How can you avoid being deleted, distorted or generalized out of the other person's mind? There is only one solution. You must learn to talk in the way that makes sense to the people in your audience (or the person across the desk). The more sense they make of what you say, the more appointments you will make. There is no way around this. And the points I'm making here are vital to the continued life of your business:

1. If you focus only on the content of your presentation, you will lose in the long run. Content is like a handful of numbers and letters. It is meaningless until you organize it into words that make sense on the other end. If you organize it incorrectly, you end up with gibberish. Ever listen to techno-nerds talk about computer code? That's gibberish to most people, but it's the secret code to them. So, if you want to communicate to techno-nerds, you need to structure your content so it's relevant to them. Ever listen to a couple of cyclists talk? Gibberish! But, to them it's the secret code. The point — you have to find the secret code for the person or people you want to reach. Otherwise, you're appealing to yourself!
2. If you focus on the structure of your content, you will begin to reach more people. You will discover much greater flexibility in how you can communicate. You will see that you're communicating at more intimate levels. In effect, what happens is — you start appealing to the filtering system. You start by-passing the mental filters. You start to set more appointments.

Reading an audience may seem like a daunting task. In truth, it's easier than that. You simply apply your "people-reading" skills to members of the audience. Then, see how many people are in rapport with you. Consider the logic behind these three steps:

Step One. Look at the people in your audience. If you're good, you can determine their personality types just by looking. (see Face Values) If you can't yet read faces, do this. Say, "Raise your hand if you ever do your own investment research." As you probably know, people who will initiate their own research are comfortable being analytical. Analytical people are mainly procedural. So, if most people in your audience raise their hand, you know to give a procedural presentation. If most of your audience does not raise its hand, you know you can give the same presentation, but don't make it procedural. This is your first step to not getting deleted, distorted or generalized into oblivion.

Step Two. Discover what is important to them. You can guess: financial security, peace of mind, care-free retirement. If you guess those things, you're probably wrong. Those things are abstract concepts that don't really play out in real life. Ask. "I assume most of you want financial security. What does that look like to you?" Then, write the answers on the board. Now, you have some actual values that you can continually point to. Now, you have something that will help make your information relevant. So, it won't be immediately filtered out.

Step Three. Learn if they want to avoid financial problems or achieve some goal. You could guess once again. The logic being, the market has been in turmoil for a long time. People have lost a lot of money, so most people are looking to avoid more losses. That seems safe. But, it might not be. So, ask. Let's say you wrote "financial security" on the board. Ask that person, why is that important? You are looking for evidence of whether the person (and others in the audience) uses inclusive or avoidance language.

Let's say the person says things like: "so I can gain...so I can get...I'll achieve." That's inclusive language. It means you'll structure your presentation to show how your audience will gain something (like financial security). But, let's say the person says things like: "it will keep me from...I won't have to...I'll avoid." That's avoidance language. When you hear those words, you know to structure your presentation to show how your solutions will help your audience protect itself.

Reward. If you read my articles on a regular basis, you know that I always reward you for reading the entire article. This month, I'm offering to give you a totally free 15-minute coaching session on how to read people. Just send me an email to make an appointment.

In my work with advisors, the biggest deficiency I ever see is their inability to "read" other people. If you want to connect with prospects and audience members, you have to read them first.

There is a law in psychology that the person with the greatest flexibility in the situation wins. The better you can read people, the more flexible you become in your communication. That means, when you learn to read people better, you place yourself in position to win more — if that's important to you.

MICHAEL LOVAS is the author of ten books, three columns, and a thousand articles on Professional Credibility and the Psychology of Communication in the financial industry. He's the co-founder of AboutPeople and the founder of Credibility Marketing.

Michael speaks at conferences and seminars in Canada and the US. He is an inspiring trainer and coach who helps advisors improve their businesses. He holds three prestigious certifications: Licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), Licensed Trainer of NLP; and Clinical Hypnotherapist. They make Michael an expert at helping financial professionals succeed at a higher level by building more meaningful business relationships.

AboutPeople Books:

1. (NEW) Questions Are the Answer! - A guide for using questions effectively in sales conversations
2. (NEW) Axis of Influence! - How credibility & likeability intersect to drive success!
3. (NEW) Words that Sell - The language of psychological marketing & selling
4. Face Values - How to read people and connect with them in less than 3 minutes!
5. The Boomer Report - The financial advisor's guide to understanding the boomer mind
6. Presentation Magic - How to gain a psychological advantage in your seminars and sales presentations
7. The 5 Levels of Rapport - How to create a meaningful connection with people who are important to you
8. Magnetic Connections - Consultative selling for financial professionals
9. IDENTITY - How to create and deliver the most important statement of your business life
10. Inside the Mind of the Senior Market
11. Beyond Wave Marketing - How to add credibility to your relationship marketing

Find AboutPeople books at: www.aboutpeople.com

Michael Lovas, C.Ht.
AboutPeople
(509) 465-5599
1503 E. Riverview Dr.
Colbert, WA 99005
www.aboutpeople.com

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