Finding Gold

The Science of Questions

By Michael Lovas
July 1, 2005

Author's Note: In the next few weeks, my firm will release our new book and training program. It's titled Magnetic Connections. It is the complete guide to consultative selling for financial professionals. The project combines the Psychology of Influence and Persuasion with the world's most effective Consultative-selling techniques. At the heart of this program is the effective use of questions, for questions are the single most important element to build meaningful, profitable business relationships. This article gives you a "sneak preview" of this process. Enjoy! ML

In its recent research project, Raintoday.com questions thousands of people who purchase professional services (including financial). The findings showed clearly that sellers of services are fumbling the ball all over the field. The vital follow-up questions to the finding are, "What if the sellers fixed the problems? Would they be more effective and make more sales? Would the people interviewed buy from them?" The answers to those questions is Yes. So, want to sell more? Want to make more money? Pay close attention to this article and implement the advice here.

"We think that the best way to seem smart is to know all the answers, when in fact the best way to seem smart is to ask the right questions."

— Dorothy Leeds, The 7 Powers of Questions

Why Use Questions?

The simple answer is, the person who asks the questions controls the situation and the outcome.

Questions can open doors you never thought possible. They can get people to listen to you who wouldn't otherwise do so. They can turn a negative situation into a positive one. They keep you in the control, and they're ten times more effective than plain old factual statements. If you're not using questions (beyond the basic fact-finding questions) you're missing out on a huge opportunity to improve your cash flow!

1. Questions help build rapport and trust. In all the sales models we've seen, this is the one point at which they all break down. The right questions asked in the right way will show people you're listening to them and are genuinely interested in what they have to say. Questions provide a perfect way for you to introduce yourself and your services and tie those services directly to what matters most to your client. However, an advisor who asks the wrong questions, or asks them in the wrong way consistently shows that he is a poor listener who cares more about himself than the client. Would you want to give your money to someone like that?

2. Questions help people self-discover. A critically important variable in the effectiveness of any persuasive communication is self-discovery. Simply telling me about a feature or benefit will have far less influence on me than if you ask me questions, guiding me to discover your solution by myself.

Questions enable the self-discovery process. They get people to persuade themselves, which reams of research has shown to be far more effective. The bottom line — people believe what they say not what you say.

3. Questions help keep you focused. Questions lead to quality listening. They make it easier for you to concentrate on what's most important to the situation, and they help keep you focused. If you're ADHD, you might have some difficulty here. If you're not ADHD, ask your question, then shut up!

In our research to write the new book The Psychology of Selling to Seniors (soon to be released through Judy Diamond), we discovered that seniors have been waiting for generations, hoping to find an advisor who will listen to them! Why are they talking in the first place? Because someone asked a question. Unfortunately, research shows that the person with the question, just kept on talking.

4. Questions enhance your credibility. If I understand your personal / professional experience, I can ask you very specific questions. For example:

"How do see your sales being related to your personal life?"
"Why do you think you're not connecting with your prospects?"
"What processes are you using now to engender trust with your clients?"

Assuming those questions really are meaningful to you, you will subconsciously begin to believe that I'm wise beyond my years, or that I can read your mind. (I don't know about the former, but the latter is certainly true!) Asking pointed questions makes you look smart and self-confident. However, more important to your credibility, it makes you seem interested in the person you're talking with.

In self-development programs, rule number one is, "Ask the question, then let the client talk." In my coaching and hypnotherapy sessions, same thing. I ask questions to learn the answers, so if I want to help the person, I know to be quiet. In any situation that launches a new relationship, the key is for you to do only about 20 percent of the talking. Want to confuse people and show that you can't listen? Keep talking. Want to look stupid? Keep talking. Want to look smart? Be quiet.

How Do Questions Work?

What is it about questions that make them so effective? In order to understand how questions work, let's take a look at what happens in our brains when someone asks us a question.

1. We are compelled to answer. In our makeup as humans, we have a need to complete things that are incomplete. This need causes an automatic answering reflex to kick in the minute we hear a question. A question is really just an incomplete statement. Thus, we are compelled to "fill in the blanks" and in doing so complete the sentence.

Most people enjoy answering questions, so long as they are asked in an unthreatening and un-stressful way. (Remember, safety is the first level of rapport.)

Two things to remember:

Make sure you've built rapport and trust before asking important questions.
Recognize that some people prefer to think about the questions for awhile — to reflect on them before answering.

2. Questions stimulate the brain. Questions actually make us think rather than simply react to the situation. Questions cause the "new brain" or neo cortex to light up. If you were to look at a PET scan, you'd see lots of lights flickering on and off suggesting a high level of brain activity. Interestingly, questions stimulate both the brain of the person asking the questions and the person being asked. Two for the price of one!

Think of it like this — asking question and listening to the answers is like playing catch. Throwing a lethal object at someone else causes him to trust you. Then, allowing him to throw it back at you causes you to trust him. That is the height of rapport — the stimulation of two brains simultaneously.

3. Questions get through a person's mental filters and defense mechanisms. Each of us has a unique set of mental filters through which we see the world. Information coming at us is "filtered" and either logged, deleted or changed. Questions help you increase the odds your messages get logged rather than deleted or changed. This is accomplish in two ways:

Answers to your questions help you determine the other person's mental filters so that you can present in their "language."
Questions help you build rapport and trust which directly effect what gets logged or deleted.

Of course, you've probably already realized that you need to have a working knowledge of mental filters, first, before you can identify them in your clients. (See Face Values, in the author's description below)

It's a dialogue — not a single question

People often ask — "What's THE question we need to ask our prospects?" Or they'll ask about one particular question. "What do you think about this question — What's important to you about _______.'"

Our response is always the same. In order to be effective, it has to be a dialogue — which means it's a two-way conversation, and that means you're going to ask more than one question. First, there is no such thing as THE one question that will get your clients to open up or trust you. It doesn't work that way. The question depends on the other person. Second, the "What's important to you..." question can be the perfect question if asked in the right way and at the right time. But, please do not think in terms of using any scripted question that you use for every prospect in every situation. One size does not fit all!

Conclusion.

Questions separate the professionals from the amateurs. They separate the caring from the self-serving. If you sell a high-price product or a high-price service, you must become expert at using questions. Using questions opens the window to a higher-level of business for you. That's a no-brainer because when you can use questions at a higher level, you will attract higher quality clients.

MICHAEL LOVAS is the author of ten books, three columns, and a thousand articles on Professional Credibility and the Psychology of Communication in the financial industry. He's the co-founder of AboutPeople and the founder of Credibility Marketing.

Michael speaks at conferences and seminars in Canada and the US. He is an inspiring trainer and coach who helps advisors improve their businesses. He holds three prestigious certifications: Licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), Licensed Trainer of NLP; and Clinical Hypnotherapist. They make Michael an expert at helping financial professionals succeed at a higher level by building more meaningful business relationships.

AboutPeople Books:

(NEW) Questions Are the Answer! - A guide for using questions effectively in sales conversations
(NEW) Axis of Influence! - How credibility & likeability intersect to drive success!
(NEW) Words that Sell - The language of psychological marketing & selling
Face Values - How to read people and connect with them in less than 3 minutes!
The Boomer Report - The financial advisor's guide to understanding the boomer mind
Presentation Magic - How to gain a psychological advantage in your seminars and sales presentations
The 5 Levels of Rapport - How to create a meaningful connection with people who are important to you
Magnetic Connections - Consultative selling for financial professionals
IDENTITY - How to create and deliver the most important statement of your business life
Inside the Mind of the Senior Market
Beyond Wave Marketing - How to add credibility to your relationship marketing

Find AboutPeople books at: www.aboutpeople.com